


Asylum

by Suganyeon



Category: wangxian - Fandom
Genre: M/M, WangXian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:21:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27397135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suganyeon/pseuds/Suganyeon
Summary: How much does your silence cost? A life without voicing his mind, broken by one bright smile.  Would it be enough to change destiny, or would it be the reason for one's fall?
Comments: 12
Kudos: 25





	1. Chapter 1

Lan Wangji let his eyes sink in this new reality. Aside from the bed, the only forniture present was a table, a chair, and a small dresser. The room had only one window, with bars, and four solid walls with nothing on them except from the dark grey ink.

"Do you like it here?" Lan Xichen walked in the small room with a heavy heart. For all his life he saw his baby brother receiving glares and being badmouthed, called a retarded, stupid or worse. But he knew better. He knew how much his brother was smarth, he just never had a reason to speak before.

It was his last hope to help him. Interning Lan Wangji as a patient in the family mental clinic he worked for. A place he could be able to closely look for the boy, taking care of him as his heart wanted without hearing the small chats around them. 

"Mn" he saw the boy nod putting his bag on the bed. 

"Do you have your board with you?" It was the only way Lan Wangji communicated. A whiteboard where he would write things he thought needed to say. Almost as short as his nods were.

"Mn" Wangji lifted the small object, putting it on the table before going to take a look outside the window.

It was all green, with a clear view to the garden where a group of kids chatted freely, playing around, making so much noise it reached his room.

Lan Xichen got closer to him, standing to his side to see what caught his attention"You will like them. They are good kids" he watched his brother pointing to his ear before going back to his bag. "Yes. They can be a little loud sometimes. Especially... Well you will meet them soon" Xichen covered his mouth to hide his amused smile. He had many hopes in his heart for this encounter "Remember, we can always take you home if you want okay? This is just an experiment. There is nothing wrong with you. Uncle is just worried"

"Mn" Wangji nodded again. His uncle had wished for him to be there for years now, always delaying it by Xichen complains of not being necessary any actions. By many times, that was the cause of fights in their house. But he knew they just wanted his best.

"Why don't I give you a tour before I start my shift?" Xichen asked, seeing his brother finish unpacking. Smiling again to his discreet nod.

Lan Xichen showed Wangji to the bathrooms, canteen, communal classes that he would use to have a few sessions of group therapy. He introduced the boy to everyone they meet, previously having alerted them all of his presence and condition. Doing all he could to make his baby brother stay in the institution the most pleasant he could.


	2. Chapter 2

Xichen waved to the smiling boy running to them when they reached the garden "Xichen-ge!" He laughed seeing the boy almost trip trying to jump some bushes, even more to the tight hug he received.

"Good afternoon, a-Xian. How are you feeling today?" His hand patted the boy’s head, noticing dark circles under his eyes. "You are not sleeping again?" He cupped the small face looking worriedly to his bandaged arms.

"Ah... Yes..." The boy tried to smile the other worries away "it was just a nightmare. No biggie" he gave a step back looking with huge eyes to Wangji, standing behind his brother. "Who's the cutie?"

"This is my brother, Lan Wangji. Wangji, this is Wei Wuxian" he waited until Wangji got to his side, seeing him nod once more.

"Yup! Definitely brother's, he is as beautiful as you are, gege" the boy smiled big saying those few words, hands placed on his waist, other making a V under his chin "oush"

"What nonsense are you speaking now" the rest of the group had reached them, one of the boys giving Wuxian a loud slap to the back of Wuxian's head.

"What? Is not a lie. I'm not Sang" 

"Yeah, you're worse. At least I don't try to kill myself the first chance I get" the boy was quick to defend his honor, even if the other faked a perfect pout

"Now, now. What did I say about this kind of joke?"

"Our conditions don't define who we are" the kids spoke in unison.

"Let me introduce us the right way. I am Wei Wuxian, depression and anxiety" bowing slightly to the formal introduction.

"Nie Huaisang, I am the only sane here"

"Says the pathological liar. I am Xue Yang. Nice to meet you"

"All nice and sane, but don't leave your things around unguarded, he will take them all if he has the chance" Huaisang said, receiving a hug on the neck and a rub on his head.

"It's called kleptomania, and I am working on it"

"And you?" Wuxian beamed looking at Wangji, rolling eyes at his friend's interaction. He waited a long time, seeing Wangji greet him on the whiteboard.

"Eeh, is he mute?"

"No, no. There is no physical problem. This is his condition"

"Ohh, I see..." There wasn't a need for deeper explanations in a place like that, everyone had his own demons to care for.

"Don't worry with this one, Lan Wangji, you can always hit him if you get bothered by him never shutting up" another boy came around them, he was dressed normally, so Wangji made the connection that he should be a visitor. He was tall, and portrayed himself as a gentleman of a rich family.

"Cheng!!!" The boy screamed pouting.

"Wangji this is Jiang Cheng. He has an internship in the hospital.” Xichen moved around, making space for his brother to see the new face

"Yeah, somebody had to take care of this one. So I thought why not me"

"Hey, I am older here!"

"And still unable to be more than a year away from this place" he noticed Wangji's face getting curious raising a brow. "He is kind of... A brother. We adopted him after..."

"You can say it, you know. After my parents left me. I am not traumatized." The brothers played fight for a moment.

"Oh yeah, right. Let me see those bandages and we will talk about this again"

"Eeeeh, no way!" Wuxian started running in circles around them, his laughs filled the air

"Why yu-" Cheng followed close his brother. It was a heartwarming scene that made those around them laugh together. Even Wangji felt an almost nonexistent raise on the corner of his lips to the carefree moment


	3. Chapter 3

"Xichen" The woman's voice pulled their attention. Jiang Cheng finally stopped seeing Wuxian run to greet the woman.

"Qing-jie, where is Ning? How is he?" All the boys rushed to her front.

"He is... Fine. Xuanyu is bringing him in"

"Wich Xuanyu?" Huaisang was curious

"Does it matter? They all love Ning" 

"Right! Is impossible to not love Ning. You will like him very much too, come, let's meet him!" Wuxian spoke, pulling Wangji by the arm, not caring if he would like it or not

"Hey, don't run away, you brat! You need to change bandages!" Jiang Cheng screamed but it was already too late, they were already too far. He sighed seeing them go inside the building. "Is it okay? To let your brother be taken hostage?"

"Well, isn't it fine? It's the first time Wangji makes friends" he too had watched his brother be dragged in silence. He waited a second before looking back at the worried face of the woman with them "How's he, really?"

"Bad, I guess? He stopped eating, bathing. Sometimes he has difficulties recognizing faces. And keep telling me he is dead and Wuxian brought him back by magic. When I heard your brother was here I thought that it would be better if I intern him again. Maybe he can bring Ning back again" he cleaned a few tears before it dropped. "Ah.. sorry. I caused trouble for him, and didn't even asked how he is''

"He is... him. We don't know what to do anymore. When he is here, he takes his meds and behaves. But once he is out... All his talks about us being better without him come back. He just... Tries to hide it with smiles and go out of his meds until..."

"Until he harms himself" Xichen completed his words.

"Yes'' it was a constant battle. One so far, they were winning, but almost felt like a lost. It had been four years since Wuxian lost his parents. It was a murder-suicide case. Leaving him on the bricks of death and with the unpleasant memory of the gruesome scene filled with blood, knife wounds and screams.

His father suffered from a severe case of paranoid schizophrenia and bipolar disorder, abusing his family from a young age. He had been faking the ingestion of meds, and on the police report, the high presence of alcohol and recreational drugs were a red flag. He was just under a crisis, others kept trying to defend the man, just having a bad day... And this bad day caused him to cut open his wife's stomach and try to do the same with their twelve years old son. Wuxian still carried the scars of the knife over his frail body, after four years had passed.


	4. Chapter 4

The kids runned in a flash, laughing and greeting everyone on their way, introducing Lan Wangji to so many people he could not even bother to remember. But for some reason he couldn't understand, it was fun. Not being judged, not being forced to speak. He just silently nodded and allowed Wuxian to speak for him, the former hand never leaving his arm.

"Ning!" They started to scream from afar. Wen Ning was a small child, not much older than fourteen, but he was so skinny and so small in his wheelchair that Wangji couldn't guess his age properly.

"Sang, Yang..." He greeted, eyes growing, shining when he saw Wuxian's face "A-Xian!"

"You always glow when he is around, what are we? Flies?" Huaisang faked being offended.

"Xian, it worked. The magic worked. I am still here!" He made grabbing hands to the boys walking until him.

"I told you it would" Wuxian kneeled down to meet him at eyes level. "But you need to eat. I can see your cheekbones!" He poked Ning's face, where his cheeks should be.

"But I don't need to" the boy looked down dejected to his "creator" lecture. Inside his head, he was an undead, brought back to life by Wuxian. A denial of reality symptom of his coutard syndrome.

"Please tell him he is alive'' Mo Xuanyu shook the wheelchair "he only hears you" He had a multiple personality disorder, having, until now, at least six different alter egos. All created to protect him from his father's abuse.

"Wangji, those are Ning and Momo" he did his best to explain the sickness they carried, seeing the young Lan nod to his words.

"Where's Song? Didn't the magic work on him?" Ning asked, looking around.

"Song is... Being treated at the moment, babe" Wuxian felt a pull on his shirt. Looking at Wangji, he could notice the question on the boy's face. "Song is another part of this group. He has some sort of temporary blindness. The doctors say it's caused by stress. You will meet him and Xingchen later. Ah, Xingchen is his boyfriend. They are older, but don't treat us like kids. You will like them very much"

"Mn" Wangji nodded releasing his shirt

"Oh, shit" Huaisang spoke out of nowhere, pulling Wangji close to hide Wuxian presence from a group of doctors that were coming their way.

"Ah, I see you are all here" The doctor spoke, leaning his head to the side, behind the boy's legs. "Wei Wuxian, we have an appointment later. Don't forget"

"Mn" Wuxian just nodded, getting up, his face a little paler than before.

It was only when the doctors walked away from them that the small group began talking again. "I hate him so much" Huaisang said, receiving nods from the others,

Wuxian silently watched the doctor's backs, he felt another pull on his shirt. Wangji was writing on his board this time "who was that?"

"He is a dick" Xue Yang said before the other had the chance "never be alone with him unless you like handsy pricks"

"Lan Wangji" Wuxian's tone was low and serious, completely opposite to how he was acting until now "do whatever you may, but don't be alone with him. If you do, and if he touches you scream… oh, yeah, break things, make noises as loud as you can. Hit him if necessary, but run! And tell me, okay?" He held tight the man if the other

"Mn" No didn’t really understand what was going on, but kept quiet seeing the other face getting disturbed just for speaking this much

"Good. Now, let's go. My adoptive sister works in the canteen, and her food is delicious. We can't let the baby starve" once again he pulled Wangji, this time by hand, guiding him through the corridors.


	5. Chapter 5

Still adapting to his new life, Wangji let himself be taken everywhere by a very eager Wuxian. He couldn't understand how people said this man had such a severe depression, not when he was always joking, chatting, or taking care of his friends. Actually, aside from the little perminors of their conditions, he didn't see flaws in any of them. Not more than he faced outside. 

The same outside where he was made fun of, ridicularized, ostracized, only for being silent… He hated it there. It's not like the institution was perfect. His movements were restricted and watched 24/7. But there, the small group who took him in did not question anything. They patiently waited for him to write, Wangji even found amusing how they bet between themselves about his expressions or what he was going to say. 

It was calm. Fun. So different from before 

It all happened in his second week. It was raining hard all day, and he was woken up by the screams coming from outside his window in the middle of the night. Wangji got up, looking through the window, watching as the thin body was covered by rain, fighting all the nurses surrounding him. He could recognize his brother in the middle of the mess, rushing to go to him in one second.

When he got closer, half of the nurses were on the floor. One bleeding by his nose. He heard screams for injections, while the thin man kept fighting his way free. It was Wei Wuxian. The always smiling boy he got used to those weeks. He had never seen him like that. So violent, so desperate.

The boy cried and screamed, kicked and threw punches letting no one get close. He saw the nurses make a circle around him, Wangji even opened his mouth, but everything ended as quick as it started, with a big needle meeting the boy's arm.

"Wangji, what are you doing here?" The drenched Xichen asked, holding the boy by his shoulders "are you hurt?" He saw his brother shake his head, signaling to ask what was wrong with the other.

"It happens when there is a storm outside. His condition is... Not good. Despite what he showed us. I need to attend to him now. Can you get back to your room safely?" He waited for the boy to nod, saying thank you to a nurse who brought him a towel. "Good, we will talk more later, okay?"

Wangji got back to his room still remembering the rage he saw in the other eyes. But, mostly, the desperate sadness within him. He waited until the morning came, but there was no sight of Wuxian on the breakfast table. He looked so anxious that even the other noticed his minimal expressions.

"Wuxian won't come today" Huaisang spoke, looking at him "he never comes after the rain" Wangji saw the others nod. He was never one hundred percent convinced of anything coming from this man's mouth.

"Why?" The letters were rushedly drawn on the whiteboard.

"We only know what we see, so we don't know the reason, Xian doesn't speak about himself. Not real stuff at least. But we heard around that his father went crazy on a stormy day. He killed his mother and tried to do the same to Xian. The nurses said it was horrible. If not for his foster father's sudden visit he would be dead by now. But he only jokes around saying he is invincible and that he lives with extra time" it was Xue Yang who spoke this time.

Wangji took extra care of his breakfast, sliding away a few cuts of bread and fruits on his clothes. Helped by Xue Yang who knew, without him saying, what his intentions were. He walked stiffly to not drop anything, knocking on the door before entering the from.


	6. Chapter 6

Wuxian was sitting on the table, legs in the chair watching the other patients linger in the garden. He didn't turn around, not even when Wangji placed the stolen food by his side, nor when he sat on the well done bed. It was clear he had not slept that night.

The silence disturbed even Wangji. But when Wuxian opened his mouth, he truly wished he never did. His voice was shaken, broken, still in the daze created by the strong medicines they gave him the previous night. "Do you ever think why we are alive?" He spoke more to himself than to the other "I keep thinking that. Why did I survive? Why only me... People would be so much happier if they didn't need to worry about me" he exhaled loudly, completely exhausted.

It was the first time Lan Wangji wanted to say something. But since he never bothered to speak before, he didn't know what to say. He wasn't unable to speak, he just thought that the people around him were idiots. And since his brother started to speak for him, he had no need to waste his time doing so. He watched Wuxian for a little longer, getting up to lay on the bed. He raised his arms inviting the boy to him. "Come" his voice was strange to his ears, rough by never being used.

Wuxian blinked a few times before moving. He slowly laid by Wangji's side, using his whole body as a pillow, not one part of him was away from the warmth the other offer. "Your brother will be sad that your first words weren't for him"

"Brother will understand. You need more"

"Even this was wasted on me, hn?" He yammed, blinking a few more times each longer than before. "Do you know any songs?" He fell asleep by the humm created by Wangji, that little gesture worked better than any meds

When Wuxian opened his eyes his bed was cold. His hands searching, finding a hard surface. "Group therapy. Eat first" he smiled at the beautiful handwriting. Moving closer to the table, he grabbed a few slices of bread, putting them in his pocket, and bit the apple.

The session was halfway done, but his place was secured beside Lan Wangji. He moved closer, sitting while whispering to the boy "I don't know how you communicated without this, but thanks" he tapped the board with a finger letting the other see what was written. "Come with me after"


	7. Chapter 7

Wuxian made an excuse to be left alone, grabbing Wangji to the middle of the little forest inside the hospital, until they reached a clear spot. "Your handwriting sucks" he laughed when the Lan was the first to break the silence.

"Yeah, sorry. I can't hold small objects yet. Writing and eating... I feel like I am learning how to do it. But the physiotherapy is helping a lot" he sat on the grass taking away the bread off his pockets.

"What are we doing here?" Wangji tried to control his eyes from going to wuxian bandaged arms. He knew very well by those words what was hidden there.

"Wait for it..." He placed a finger over his mouth, seeing the boy sit at his side. It didn't take long before many fluffy balls of cotton started jumping around them, cautiously getting closer.

"Rabbits?" Wangji was surprised to see so many. He never heard of the hospital having them before.

"They are used for therapy. Cute right? Here, feed them" he passed the bread to Wangji’s hand, it was cut into a thousand small pieces. "Let them come" he leaned back watching the boy shake in anticipation. 

Slowly one of the rabbits came closer. Smelling his hands, the food, taking a bite and running away. It soon repeated the same thing, followed by others. Wuxian saw Wangji's eyes growing bigger, a pink blush on his ears by the other laugh.

Wangji only took his eyes away when Wuxian laid beside him. One of the bunnies jumping on his body, walking careful until his face. "hey there little buddy" he could hear the boy speaking, grabbing the rabbit to rub noses together. "I didn't forget you" he took a piece of apple from his shirt pocket, giving it to the fluffy ball that gladly took the treat.

"He likes you" Lan Wangji spoke while watching the scene unfold before him.

"He better. This one is mine after all"

"Yours?" Wangji raised his brow, looking the fluffy ball munch the apple

"Mn. See this? He has a little black spot under his lips, same as mine. I was there when he was born, and when it showed, your brother told me that I could have him when I got well enough to leave" Wuxian sighed, rubbing the bunny ears, that kept moving his head to have more of the act "that is... If I am ever getting better"

"There is no reason for you not to"

"It's good that you have faith in me. Cuz I don't. I... Every Time I am outside everything is just so... Heavy. It hurts me even more to have to pretend all day, every day, that I am okay. Sometimes my cheeks even hurt from smiling, but I can't stop. I can't let them know. And when I notice... It's just... Too late."

"Why? Why do you have to pretend?"  
.  
"To not worry them. I do get better, you see... When I am outside things feel different. I feel able to walk around, to be myself. But then... It all starts with small talks. Someone's achievement, people questioning if I am okay, speaking in a way that makes me feel minor, as if I am incapable of doing things, hearing things… And then I just... Feel so stupid. For what I did, for who I am, for the time I lost. It's like a snowball that I can't stop. One day everything is sunny, one second later, it feels like a big dark cloud is above me. Raining nonstop, making me drown on my own tears. I just feel so lonely, so small... That I just want it all to end. To scape my pain, this fucking pain that never leaves me" he covered his eyes with one arm, hiding the tears falling. "I just want to die. But if I say any of this, they will worry. And I already destroyed their life's enough."

"I don't see how you destroyed it"

"It’s because you are an outsider” Wuxian sighed before speaking “Take JC. He changed his whole life because of me. Changed courses so he could study to be able to help me. Even Jie works here now. And when I am at home, uncle and aunty live around all the time, even stay home if I seem to need be well"

"They do it because they care for you. To make you comfortable."

"Comfortable? Care? What did I do to deserve this? Try to kill my self? I am weak! I am nothing! I have nothing. I am broken. Full of scars. I can't even hold a pencil for fucks sake"

"You help you friends. A-Nin-"

"I lie to him. That's all. This is not helping. Your brother helps him. His sister and grandma help him. I lie..."

"Your lies helped more"

"How?" Wuxian looked at the golden eyes staring at him, fighting the urge to cry even more. He begged to some word, some anything that could change his mind

"You give them hope"

"Fake"

"You helped me" Lan Wangji held his hand, using all the straight he had to make the other feel his sentiments.

"You would talk to anyone else. Your brother deserved it more. It was wasted on me"

"I wouldn't"

"Would, not could. You can speak when you feel like it, to anyone you feel like. Me... You just felt pity. This is not helping. I did nothing, you did it all" Wuxian got up, brushing his hand to clean the dirty of his clothes. "We need to go" he spoke without turning back, vanishing on the green of the brushes they passed to get there, leaving Wangji alone with the bunnies.


	8. Chapter 8

When they regressed, Wuxian was back to his cheerful self. It was almost if that small crack on his shield never existed. And that simple change, made him become the favorite subject of Wangji's curious eyes. He was amazed by every sudden movement of Wuxian. The way he would be calm and collected, sad, when alone, but on the next instant his smile would shine bright. Or the way he seemed like Wangji’s voice, using even the same words rushing through his head when “reading” his thoughts to the others. It was incredible, as if he knew him even more than his own brother. 

The days became weeks, and weeks became months and even if he didn't show any change during therapy, those moments alone with Wuxian were a bliss, a safe place in which Wangji could use his own voice, without being interrupted or hearing any sort of forcefulness to speak. He enjoyed them more than anything in his life so far. He enjoyed this boy company so much, that in this short time, it was Wangji the one so seeked these moments alone the most. 

He stood guard on the boy, feeding him when he skipped meals, hugging him to sleep when he was too disturbed, being by his side when nobody else was allowed, caressing his head and humming as they cuddled on the grass surrounded by bunnies. He started to notice all little changes, everything about the other. From the increase of cuts on his wrist, to the sorrowful look he would let out when tired. Wuxian was becoming the focal point in Wangji life inside the hospital. 

It was a carefree life that became weird after one day. While walking down the corridors he found Wei Wuxian standing in front of an open door, before he could signal to call the boy, he saw a pair of hands running through his frail body, pressing his skin and touching places nobody else should. Wangji runed, pulling him back, only to be faced with a surprised look.

“Wangji, what are you doing here?” The doctor asked, looking at him with hatred eyes, ignoring the man he moved away pulling Wuxian by the hand. Only when they reached the room did he notice how strange his behaviour was, the other didn’t speak or move, as if he was numb by some drug. 

“Wei Wuxian?” Wangji shook his shoulders trying to break this trance away. But nothing. He let the boy sleep a few hours, worriedly making guard over him. Watching him slowly come back to the world of livings. “wuxian?” He saw the boy curl on the bed, holding his chest stronger as he could. “what's wrong?” It took wuxian a lot longer to speak, telling the story that hurted his heart so much. 

That morning, while his family was asleep, Wen Ning woke up in the middle of a crisis. He took a knife from his kitchen, and had sliced off big chunks of his skin. He bleed too much, and was now in an induced coma, to prevent damages to his brain while the doctors worked on his conditions. After hearing those words, Wuxian was put under heavy sedation, as he kept screaming it was all his fault. Unfortunately, the doctor who administered the medicine was Wen Chao, the same doctor who was named handsy, and wangji was told over and over again to keep distance from. 

He heard the boy telling it in between loud sobs, rubbing his back in an attempt to calm him down, Wangji felt his heart broken, unable to do anything more to help a friend who gave him so much.


	9. Chapter 9

It was night time when they left the room, coming back to a canteen filled with crying faces. Wangji watched as Wuxian looked from afar to his friends, cleaning his tears and putting his big smile back, when he reached the table. “Hey guys, what with those faces? Ning will be really sad to see them when he wakes up!” He tried to cheer them all, even if the one who needed the most was himself.

“Wake up?” Mo Xuanyu screamed, getting up “When he wake up? He may never open his eyes again! And it's all your fault!! Wuxian!! If you didn’t put those fucking fantasies in his head, he would never be like that now!” 

“Momo! You know this is not true! It's part of Ning's condition!” Huaisang reached to the small boy, pulling his arm to sit back. 

“No, no, no!” He screamed again, pushing aside the hands holding his forearm “It’s his fault! It's his fault! If Ning dies, it's all his fault!” He cried leaving the room, Huaisang going directly after him, leaving behind just an apologetic look. 

“Xian, don't take it to your heart, you hear me? This is not your fault at all! We all know how complicated a-Ning syndrome is, it was bound to happen sooner or later. You had nothing to do with it!” But despite his friend's words, the guilt took place inside Wuxian's heart, and all he did when alone was cry loudly, and this time, not even drugs or Wangji arms could make it disappear. 

Wuxian lived as an empty shell. He moved only when the nurses took him, talked only if poked a few times, always groggy, always slumbering his words.

“Is he going to be okay?” Xichen read after feeling a poke on his shoulder. He was checking Wuxian, kneeling in front of the boy sitting on his bed. 

“Mn, we are starting to lessen the amount of medicine today. We need to keep him under surveillance for the next few days, but if his condition improves, with no set backs, we can go back to his normal medications, and he will be more responsive to external stimulus” Xichen sighed after speaking, he was glad his brother made friends, but worried about this one friendship. He watched how close they became, how it worried him seeing Wuxian like this “Wangji… Maybe… Is for the best if you keep your distance”

Wangji's expression changed in one second, his mouth open wide. it screamed “what” is his eyes.

“His situation… We can’t be sure he won’t try to hurt himself or others. We can’t predict how he will react. Wen Ning… He isn’t getting any better. I am only worried about you” He looked his brother shake his head furiously, standing holding wuxian hand. Xichen sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Fine, stay with him, but call me if anything happens, and be on guard, okay?” Xichen patted his brother's shoulder leaving the room dejected. 

A long time after the door was closed, and the boy left alone, Wangji turned hearing the mumbling of disconnected words “-an uang-”

“Wei Wuxian” He kneeled in front of the other, cleaning the tear falling off his cheeks.

“Lan Uangs”

“Mn. I’m here” He sat on the bed hugging the man “I am here” shushing him caressing his hair. 

“Lan Uangshi”

“Lan Zhan. It’s easier, right?” 

“Lan… Jhan…”

“Mn, what’s wrong? Do you need something” He felt Wuxian hands gripping his arm. His sobs coming out nonstoping.

“Lan… Zhan… Lan… Zhan…” He kept calling while crying. Despair carried on his tone. 

“I am here, Wuxian, I’m not going anywhere” And there he stayed, all night, feeling the boy slowly falling into sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

The movement at his side woke him up. Lan Wangi ignored all the burn from the sunlight into his eyes, hugging the frail man beside him. “Sorry for waking you, I just need to check his vitals” It was a voice he got used to by now, Jiang Cheng was sitting at Wuxian's side, one hand patting the boy's hair, another on his pulse. He looked as broken as Wuxian was. 

Wuxian woke to the know touch “xenxen” 

“Hey there buddy”

“zhanzhan?”

“mn” The pair of arms going stronger around him saying a silent “I am here”

“Mn” Wuxian hummed giggling.

“How are you feeling?” Cheng asked, looking at the peaceful expression of his brother. 

“-iiiiiiinnneeeee” he snuggled his head harders against Wangji's chest. “Lan Jhan, waaam”

“He is warm? That’s good. It must have been a good night of sleep, then”

“Mnnn”

Jiang Cheng smiled seeing this childish side. He missed the happy times where they could be only kids. “Lan Zhan, is that your birth name?” He looked at wangji nod, smiling at the boy “Was he able to tell you his?” again he waited, seeing the negative shake of head “His birth name is Wei Ying. If you call him like that one day, I am sure he will be very happy” Cheng stood up and left, leaving the boy’s go back to the much-needed sleep. He couldn't remember the last time he saw Wuxian acting spoiled like that to anyone around him.


	11. Chapter 11

When Lan Wangji opened his eyes again, it was already around noon, he was faced with the wide open eyes of Wuxian looking at his sleeping face “Hey, good morning” his voice sounded clear now. 

“How are you?” 

“Fine. My mind feels foggy, but I am fine. Thank you for being with me”

“Mn. It's not a problem” He took away a few hairs that were above wuxian face. “are you hungry?” 

“Not really, but I feel like I could eat” 

They walked hand in hand to the canteen, not parting even when Yanli rushed to hug her brother. Wangji could feel the tension on wuxian body on the grip of his hand. He patted it with his thumb, assuring the other of his presence. It was an automatic response, something he felt Wuxian do to him many times before, but took instant effect, as the other slowly calmed himself. 

The table got silent when they sat, the boys looking down dejected, not reacting to their presence at all. It was Sang that spoke, after sighing deeply “No changes” it was as if he could read the other mind. “They told us he should be awake by now. It's been a week” he moved his fork on the food. “Momo said sorry” he whispered after some time.

“its okay, its my fault anyways”

“No, it’s not. He just worries too much about Ning” Xue Yang wasn't any different from the others. Sitting at Xuanyu side, who acted as if he was air, not moving an inch.

“I… I thought that since his mind makes him believe he is dead… If it believed he was resurrected he would be normal again… And then… At least one of us would be” He too played with his food, not eating. It was wangji who took the fork of his hand, grabbing a full spoon of food and placing it in front of his mouth, almost force feeding him. “you don’t ha- mmnn” His mouth was full in one second, so he just stopped fighting and let himself be fed a full meal. 

The days passed almost in a daze. Wuxian still wasn't present in any group therapy, well, at least not his mind. Even when the boy was physically there, he never spoke, only letting his body drop on the chair, head on Wangji shoulder and eyes focused on the windows. This was their life now. This anxious wait for news about a friend that never arrived.

It was sudden when Wuxian started seeking refuge in Lan Wangji room at night, fresh out of bath. Around the same time where Wangji noticed his constant nightmares. Even during the day, his smile started to fade. It was visible to those around him. 

"Wei Ying?" Wangji called feeling the boy wince in his arms. The night darkening his features. "Wei Ying? I am here. It’s okay" he watched the boy wake in a rush, jumping from the bed to throw up on the trash bin, crying asking sorry for something he didn't do. It scared Wangji to see him so weak. To notice the grow on the Tally marks in his skin. It felt like losing, and he hated to lose.


	12. Chapter 12

It became Lan Wangji's habit to follow Wuxian around. If not on the private therapy, he would always reach for the boy. One of those days with the visit of parents, the whole hospital celebrated with a huge fest in the gardens. It was colorful and cheerful to see everyone enjoying the company of their loved ones. 

"Eeeh, where is Wuxian?" Huaisang asked, getting closer to sit at Wangji's table. 

"Bathroom" he rushed to write. A deep sign shone at the back of his head, it was long since the boy insisted on going alone, not coming back until now. Wangji got up, to check on him, leaving his board in the rush, he walked around looking at each corner, reaching the empty bathroom, his heart sunk.

Lan Wangji never felt so anxious before. He had goosebumps all over his body, chills on his spine. He ran. Turning people around, entering rooms, until he heard it. The faint voice becoming loud muffled screams, he searched its origins, kicking the doors open to find a scene he would never forget.

The man, dressed in all white, was behind Wuxian, pressing the boy head on the table with one hand, holding his both wrists with the other, Wuxian was bent, pants at his ankles, crying and screaming to the pain he felt as the man kept trusting dispute the blood dripping on his legs. 

He never felt so much anger before. His heart almost stopped, blood could on his veins, he saw red. The red of the crying face of his friend, the red of his blood dripping onto his white legs. The red of anger making his body move.

He pushed the man away, barely noticing him rush out, attention focused on the boy inside his arms. It was hard for Wuxian to breathe. All his side torso was red to the punch the rapist had given him, he felt unconscious without even realizing who was the one holding his body.

Wangji feared for him, seeing him drop his hands, breathing so slow it was barely noticeable. He leaned the boy on the ground, going out seeking anyone capable to help. But it was useless. He was in a mental facility, unable to speak. Every single person that crossed his path only saw him as a crazy kid having a crisis. Only when he reached back at the party that the commotion he was making as he pulled strangers arms was noticed by someone who could understand him.

"Wangji, what's wrong?" Xichen rushed to his brother, uncle following behind. He saw all the desperation on his face, feeling his heart hurt at the expression on those golden eyes. "Calm down, what's wrong?" He let himself be pulled by the arm, seeing his brother grab Jiang Cheng on his way. None saying a word, only allowing themselves to be dragged, as if it was a game they were used to participating in.


	13. Chapter 13

The loud gasp filled the room when they got to the door, screaming almost at the same time, at the boy layd in the ground. Wuxian still had his pants in his legs, he had rolled to his side, throwing up by the pain. He tried to speak, to move, but was unable to do anything, he just held back the precious hand that grabbed him strongly.

"What happened?" Jiang Cheng asked, eyes going between his brother and Wangji. 

"Cheng, we need to take him to the infirmary, move!" Xichen rushed him for a stretcher, a way to bring the boy to where they could tend for him, with the least amount of damage.

Wangji followed them closely, but when they reached the doors that marked the end of the outsider personal allowed, he was told to just wait. And he did it. For hours until anyone got out, he waited in the same place, his feets hurting, his head heavy, but he waited. He waited for three days, until Wuxian opened his eyes again.

His heart flustered when his brother announced the news. "Wei Wuxian is awake". He ran a marathon to be with him, to see him, and nobody allowed him to go inside the room. 

"You can't yet." The police that collected the testimony of the boy, watched his expression change when he saw the boy at the door 

"Lan Zhan!" Wuxian beamed at the sight in front of his eyes, he opened his arms inviting him to a hug, finally feeling secure surrounded by this warmth. He still trembled.

"And this is… Lan Wangji, right? The one who found you?" The cop asked, looking at them.

“Yes, he is” Xichen came inside the room, standing at the side of his brother, one hand on the youngster's shoulder. “He doesn't speak, if you have patience, he can write whatever you need” 

“Okay, we can work with that, we just need him to testify on what he saw” The question made Lan Wangji stiff, he looked around to the open door, the doctor waiting to hear his words. His uncle, Jiang Cheng in front of the group and Wen Chao in the back, the last with a troubled look.

“Lan Zhan?” Wuxian leaned back looking at his stoic face “Tell them, tell them what you saw” But no word, written or spoken came from the man, terrified to admit what he indeed had seen. He trembled remembering Wuxian's face, his cry.

“Can you give him some time-?” Xichen tried to appease the situation, being cut by the loud voice on the room 

“Lan Zhan, tell them what he did to me!” Wuxian became agitated. “Tell them!!” He started screaming looking at the Lan “Use your fucking words and tell them!” he felt a surge of anger take control of his body.

“That's enough, this wont work, we can try again later” The police officer said at the scene, both boys clearly disturbed by the events.

“It’s alright Wangji, take your time” Xichen patted his brother's head after he sent everybody away, in the room only he, the chief of the hospital, Qiren, his guardian Jiang Cheng, and the accused Wen Chao were present with both boys.

“This accusation is extremely serious, you do understand, right?” Qiren spoke when the door was closed “Wen Chao is a great doctor, who worked with us for ages!”

“Then what? Are you saying that I faked it? That I raped myself to blame him?” Wuxian was pissed off, angrily shouting to the adults at the room. 

“You just need to tell them the truth” Wen Chao smirked at Qiren back.

“The truth? You did it, you pig. You know that!” He tried to get up, being held back by Xichen and Wangji “let me go, let me go now!!” Jian Cheng rushed to his brother's side, he was at the door silently so far, but he could no longer just watch as he was asked.

“Wei Wuxian, calm down” He spoke, laying the boy back into his bed.

“I am telling the truth, Cheng! He did it!” The boy cried desperately

“You think they will believe in you? A damaged kid over me? Do you forget who my father is?” Chao laughed at his tears

“Enough! Let’s try this in the morning!” Qiren said, pulling Chao out. He waited for his nephews to follow him outside the room. 

“Come, Wangji, let him rest” Xichen pulled his baby brother away, wangji eyes still glued to the boy who refused to look at him. He had never used his words in front of anyone other than Wei Wuxian, he thought it was his choice, but now, when needed, he was suddenly unable to do it, feeling a rush of anxiety like a wave taking control of his body and blocking his throat.


	14. Chapter 14

They only stopped for a second in Qiren’s presence, long enough for the old man speak his mind, making Wangji feel even more guilty by his words. “He is prone to lies and tricks, I'm sure this time is the same. Wen Chao is a remarkable asset to this institution, this can damage his, our reputation, Wangji, he said you were there, are you agreeing with him?”

But he couldn’t. He was angry, so much angry, that he never got a clear glimpse of the man's face, only his white clothes, and the dick going inside Wuxian ass. So he just stood there, no words or moviments, until they were both released to go back

They were in the middle of the corridors to Wangji room when they heard the desperate call of Jiang Cheng “Xichen!! Have you seen Wuxian?” he asked, out of breath. 

“No, the last time was when we left him with you” Xichen looked at him, then back at his uncle.

“Fuck! The prick asked for water and when I came back he was gone!” Jiang Cheng was clearly in distress, moving on the same spot. 

“you left him alone?” Qiren rushed to ask the student, it was a situation increased by Wuxian condition. 

“Of course not! He screamed, loudly, it was rude, but he couldn’t care less “Wen Qing stopped by, she was the one with him, but now, he’s gone, and so is she”

“Oh, no” Xichen's face went pale. “you didn’t hear it, did you?”

“heard what?” Cheng clutched his brows looking at them

“a-Ning… He didn’t make it” The words seemed to be out of a movie, something so distant to his mind be able to understand. Even Wangji looked astonished by the news

“She told me not so long ago… You don’t think she...” 

“I will give the warning. Don’t worry, we will find him” Qiren spoke, moving to his officer. “You all go look, we need to find him, now!”


	15. Chapter 15

The three of them started to move around, screaming Wuxian names. The search party grew by the addition of nurses and friends, patients able to walk around and search the boy. It was when they were in the garden, hearing drops close to the wall that Wangji remembered one of his talks with the frail man, one that occured after a crisis, wuxian saying him how great it would be to be a bird, and just fly away from all of this. He looked up seeing a shadow move on the top of the five store building. Grabbing his brother's sleeve so hard it was cut, he pointed before running inside. 

“Wei Wuxian!” Jiang Cheng screamed when they crossed the door. Wuxian was on the corner of the building, looking up and letting the wind blow touch his body. He felt cold, cold inside, and out. Cheng could see Wangji only a few steps ahead of him, standing in the middle of the roof, slowly walking front.

“Go back” Wuxian still refused to look behind him, to the faces of those he loved. “Go back, and never come back”

The wind blew harder, muffling the noises around Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng, standing close to the entrance. 

Wangji gave one step closer, his voice low “Come back with me” only them could hear him speak

“You don’t get it, do you?” Wuxian turned around to glare at him “You are normal. You have a life you can go back to. But me? What I’m I? He is dead, he died because of me!” His tears fall one by one, wetting the pale cheeks of his face “They think I am a liar. You couldn’t even say anything...”

“I will, I promise. Come back with me. We can be together outside”

“it’s too late now” Wuxian whispers were carried by the wind. A tone so broken, that rushed Wangji's blood to his head. It took only one second, one blink of eyes. For one second he was there, arms open, looking back at Wangji, one blink, one instant, and his body was falling with a sad smile on his lips. mouthing words only wangji understood “I trusted you” 

“WEI YING” The scream he shouted running to where Wuxian was, that painful scream the boy in his arms let out, was the first, and last words, Lan Xichen ever heard his baby brother speak in his life. 

\- The End -


End file.
